she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Boobs are out for the taking
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
Randomize
