I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Those nachos came to me in a dream
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
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