At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Mitt romney looks like a fantastic lover (full disclorsure: im 76% vodka right now)
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
