Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
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