If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
Randomize
