I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
