what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
