If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
But break dance skills will only take you so far
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
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