if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Swine flu is the new snow day.
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
