Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I legit had a 15 minute convo about dinosaurs with a guy at the bar last night cuz he was wearing a jurassic park shirt
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
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