the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Randomize
