New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
My dick has a subreddit
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
