I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
