24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
could you please not use my mortar and pestal for its intended purpose? i just snorted cracked black pepper.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Randomize
