I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
