I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
you wouldn't let anybody come in after ten. everybody was standing outside and you just yelled "BEING PUNCTUAL IS IMPORTANT" and slammed the door. i dont think you should be allowed to have parties anymore
it concerns me that i was already that drunk at 10
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
