I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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