Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I enjoy the company of your penis
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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