Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
