cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
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