im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
