How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
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