The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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