sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
Randomize
