I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
Say something about gay babies.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
