I can't breathe out the right side of my face
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
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