i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
the liver wants what the liver wants
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
