I'm pretty sure the new "vibrating mascara" is just a disguised dildo for those of us who are too ashamed to purchase a real one.
Well, at least their eye lashes will look good while they masturbate shamefully.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
