I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Randomize
