his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I just dried my bra with your hair straightener because the drier is broken again.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
