Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
i dont even know how to be here
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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