dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
Randomize
