Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
lets start a swedish sibling band together
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
