Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
I just remembered something from last night. check your closet.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
