just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
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