Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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