I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
