you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Randomize
