You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Randomize
