Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Randomize
