if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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