Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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