walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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