Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
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