Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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