I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
there's something so ridiculous to me about watching someone with glasses exercising. it's like watching a whore studying in the library. stop trying to be someone you're not.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Randomize
