I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
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