that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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