I just threw up on my dentist
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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