There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Damn victory sex feels great
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
