4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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