i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
This is the fourth day in a row I've walked outside in the same pajamas. I think the neighbors have finally given up on judging me.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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