Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Seriously, I was a high class hooker. I was snorting shit Rachel, white powder, lines formed with credit cards, the dudes house was beautiful. Magnum condom. Adorable puppy dog. Pretty sure at some point I was sleeping on a washing machine. Boxing Gloves.
Those were the highlights of my night.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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