I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
