Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
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